crystaline dancer

Long time no see

2006-01-10T05:23:00.000-08:00

Its been a long time since I last posted an entry in this one...
A lot has happened.

October: Nothing much...
November: Assumption Fair! Total disaster!
December: School of the Holy Spirit Fair! Another disaster in terms of monitary gains.

I've celebrated my 32nd birthday. Nothing much the greeters are not even half of my age.
Kuya Reggie, his wife, Tita Jean and her husband are here.
Went to Camarin to Ninongs house to visit them on the 6th.
No Tito Boy and Tito teddy.

Kulang din.

They met Jan already.

Sept 24, 2005

2005-09-24T04:30:00.000-07:00

Sept 21... Wednesday... did nothing muchm but i did the grocery and bought some stuffs to be used tomorrow.

Sept 22... Hon's birthday. His 22nd birthday, his parents can no longer do something to stop the wedding.... we cooked my tuna spagetti
Elson came...
Miki wasn't allowed coz it was also his elder sister's birthday.
Liz forgot about the invitation, and was only concerned about meeting Papa Bernz
We went to Cubao, showed Elson the stuff toys!!!!

Sept 23... THE INVASION OF THE ALIEN WIRE IN THE CR!!!!! i asked them to fix it today!!! Funny how calm I was.... normally I would have blown their heads off to fix it ASAP!!!!

Sept 24... PS2... Some posters... a MGS tshirt... PS2 cap... and a lot of other stuffs.
... internet in worldnet...

tranquility

2005-09-19T11:41:00.000-07:00

sometimes, looking at my dog sleeping gives an unexplainable peace in my mind, eventhough he's sleeping on my bed... and lying down on itwould wake him up, i still prefer to let him have my bed for as long as his little heart's content.
he uses my pillow, blanket and whatever is on my bed. i just didnt have the heart of disturbing his sleep. sometimes, i wish for my life to be that simple.

on another note, there are some people who take forgranted the things you're trying to have. they take forgranted the thought they are married... if only i could get married.
sometimes i think people do not take my dreams forgranted, or they dont take me seriously. sigh. these are the times that i hated having some of my dreams depend on other people.

Sept 20, 2005 part 3

2005-09-19T10:43:00.001-07:00

9/01... I was so damned angry the past few days specially last 8/30... we almost didn't make it here... this is our 54th monthsary.
... we went to cubao!

9/02...he went to UPLB... IRRI to be exact. For his presentation. Then he went to Pampanga....

9/03...Jet gave the 6210. Ate at 5pm. breakfast, lunch and dinner. Nakausap ko yung dati kong yaya. hehehe.

9/04... Jet brought parents to the airport, he gropped Jan at his apartment. we went to Paco. we picked him up at Gilmore LRT2 station. Luneta. Paco again. Gilmore for the 20pcs cdr. We picked him up at Gilmore station.... Me and Parents and Jan.

9/05...Noel went with parents to Batangas... Jan didn't went to work today and accompanied me home. Funny how my dog shows jealousy, even to the person he considers his 'dad'.

9/06... My Mom's birthday! 'Noel went home...' Read about Isabel... Then RAiner, Isa's husband called. These things doesn't happen to us normal people, right? We're from Assumption!!!!

9/07... Noel went home... as in went home here. We left for megamall.

9/08...Didn't went to Isa's last day. I can't. I want so much to believe this is a sick joke. I want to remember her like she was... The puppy arrived today!

9/09... apt

9/10... we went to Clark.... UPEPP... Saw Jet!!! Stayed in the Deputy Director's Office!!! Duty Free!!! Puppies!!! Chick and Ribs!!! I went home, wasn't supposed to yet but i did. pissed.

9/11...went to Katipunan. and met up with his family, minus Bang who's still in japan. Serye, QC circle.

9/12... we went to Megamall. then we went to Galle. We saw the SMART WiFi. We inquired and since we're there we decided to have our phones activated with gprs and mms.

9/13... i had my dog eating on top of the washing machine so the pup wouldn't disturb him or grab his meal. I'm starting to hate this pup.

9/14... sis-in-law ym-ed her sentiments about my brother. asked jan about 'pagsasawa' when we get married. I'm starting to have sentiments about marriage.

9/15... went to apt

9/16... we met PAPA BERNZ!!!!! Happy!!!!! Ultraman Tiga!!! Chibi Maruko-chan no coin bank. Starting to plan my 'plan' for his birthday!!!

9/17...watched azumanga daioh! nice! i went to Batangas to accompany Mama. watched T3 to stay awake. i was already in Batangas when I was told that we were not going home tomorrow. T.T

9/18... did nothing but bum around in the apartment. we waren't able to go to mass... Mom and I slept almost the whole day. i miss my Hon-Hon!

9/19... YEY! saw my hon-hon! did grocery in Uniwide.... I love my Hon-Hon!!!

Sept 20, 2005 part 2

2005-09-19T10:19:00.000-07:00

8/16... balakubs
8/17...he had the apartment checked. the ceiling and the bowl. Ate Cristy called. The Patlabor 'Game and Watch' seemed to be busted, coz he bought new batts for it, and it's still not working.
8/18...we met Steph in UP today. Then Tere... fun. We had a wild laugh. Saya!
8/19...i was using the other sim. I think we bought the smart e-load sim last 8/13. He went home.
8/20...
8/21...the kidnapping of my babbies.... our stuff toys... the bunny, kirby, tigger, gray kitty and gege, pink gangster. aro was almost kidnapped but Jan rescued him. Some stuff were almost kidnapped by his brother. they brought Bang to the airport.
8/22...I went with my parents to Batangas to have my face examined by the derma. why cant my brother's atleast survive without me. sigh. lagi na lang kasi nakaasa sa akin e.
8/23...Jan went to PUP to help my Mom's students.
8/24...
8/25... we went to congressional
8/26...i sent the 'ransom'... the doggie pillow set...
8/27...Jan's Dad's Birthday! Kuya Reggie's Birthday! Karlo Nalam's Birthday! He was only able to rescue Gege, pink gangster and the bunny
8/28...he bought yellow cab pizza for cainta. told liz about the momusu vhs tape.
8/29...we went to world net. internet with liz. then to congressional. Jan finally met Liz's dad.
8/30...presentation of his IRRI work in MATH. Miki gave us the tsubasa cd. 'yun lang daw pinunta nya sa UP'
8/31...he had an xm. he was supposed to go with Allan [vaness] with another crs guy for Peria's este... Feria's farewell party.

Sept 20, 2005 part 1

2005-09-19T09:53:00.000-07:00

Yipes! I forgot to update my blog again!!!! Shimatta ne!!!
I'll do my best to remember everything that happened!!! Here goes!

Aug 11... yesterday I asked my hon-hon to install ym so we could chat. too bad somebody abused the thought that me, as a friend would do everything to make a friend happy. this friend told me that my hon already agreed in giving her the mug that I gave him, and said that he told me to say 'yes' and not to disagree. In the end, it ended with me and my hon fighting.

Aug 11... he came to Cainta. We're ok now. I went out with him to the apartment.

Aug 12... he went home. felt a bit jealous.

Aug 13... now the jealousy caught up with me. it's about the "conservative" issue. Then I was asking about the 'conservative' girl and he answered about another girl who had the same name but a different issue with another girlfriend.
...now more than ever, i want to destroy that bitch that he calls 'conservative' the anger in me is just so great now. considering I am writting this more than a month after. I dont think there is nothing he could do anymore to cure this anger.
... if you are reading this now, i still can't find it in my heart to forgive you for describing that bitch as 'conservative' and to top it all, you kept saying it.

Ninong, Lee and his girlfriend was here. I'm totally pissed with my brother and his wife.

Aug 14...we went to Megamall to buy my Dad a gift for his birthday. A rechargable battery for the Gameboy advance. we were locked out when we got home. We decided to wait, but it turned out that my parents went to the grocery...

Aug 15... we met up at NEC. He was supposed to get the loooooong awaited check from IRRI via UP... dut didnt

Aug 16... my dad's birthday. he got the check and deposited it to PNB.

Aug 11, 2005

2005-08-10T12:13:00.000-07:00

Sigh!

It's really depressing.
Why is everybody given a pardon everytime they did something wrong? Everyone or everybody but me.
then to make matters worse, here is someone who is so damn insensitive to what you're going through. thinking everything will be okay if I have money... no matter how I get it.
then you are left alone.
no food...
no water...

oh i was given some spending money but how the hell do i go out with this condition?

then just last night all the people who did something wrong to me and all they did were flashing inside my mind, like a slide show.

and then it came to me, i will survive and one day all you will know how badly you treated me. noone even dared talking to me. atleast i have my dog.

my dog, my companion and my friend.

they're all coming today... but i don't feel like seeing people today. they hurt you, and expect you to do everything they could think of.

i hate my life.
i hate having to wake up for yet another day, to get hurt...
i wake up coz the people around me, doesn't see the pain they're causing.
i wake up coz the people around me expect i will.
coz the people around me expect me to be dependable.
they think i will do everything for their convenience.

what if one day... i'm just gone?
free from the obligations
free from the pain
free from all these?

will it be an inconvenience because i simply didn't do what they expect me to?

by the end of the day, it all boils down to me and my dog.

Aug 1, 2005

2005-07-31T08:41:00.000-07:00

Sigh. Sigh. and still more sigh.

What do you do if you saw someone you know walking, hands laced around somebody you don't know in a mall? Nothing right? Or maybe bug someone you know when you meet him or her the next time. But what if, you saw someone you know who was walking hands laced around someone you don't know who is definitely not the girlfriend or boyfriend of that someone you know.

I just did.

And now this someone I know is in real big trouble because of his alibi this night did not match his alibi about 12 hours ago. Because this someone I know made two conflicting alibis in just one day. Now I am torn between telling the right people about this someone I know with someone I didn't know.

Why can't they just be faithfull to one?

July 18, 2005

2005-07-17T09:19:00.000-07:00

I am so depressed tonight, oops actually its early morning.

Why am I always afraid of what they can do to me? Are they afraid of me? Are they even knowlegable in what I feel? Does he even enjoy the things he's doing? Does he really doesn't care of what will happen to me? Am I really doomed to be the martyr in this house?

He wants me to hold loggin in the net coz he'l use the phone and what? He lies down in bed, while I fight sleep so that I can wait till he's finished? Which he hasn't started yet? then if you'll ask him to speed up, he'll get angry. And embaras me to all the people who knows me. Why can't I just do what he does?
I can't sleep coz, if I don't answer the phone he'll say I'm useless and other things he can think off. Even if I don't, I'll still be the first one to get waken up by the phone since it is beside me.

I hate my brother. I hate my brothers. They all make my life miserable. They all put me in a corner where I cannot fight back. Why? Why can't I fight back? What 'ace card' do they have that I can't stand up for my right, for my position as the first born?

Someday, maybe I will. Somday maybe I can. Until that day, I do hope that I am still able.

July 14, 2005

2005-07-13T15:53:00.000-07:00

WAS IT THAT LONG!!!!

Oki oki! I need to remember....

July 7: stayed there.
July 8: he went back home, I have his students' 'sorry' resume.
July 9: went out with Dad. Dad bropped me at Brookeside. He was early. Nothing much.
Harry lost to a squeeky looking geek. >(
July 10: We went to Cainta together.
July 11: We did the laundry together here at home. To save up a little in laundry expenses.
July 12: We didn't see each other as part of the scheme,to save.
He finished RG Veda today, and he started with Sailormoon.
July 13: I wanna join the rally in Ayala. I want to see "Cheese" in person!!! He surprised me today. He chatted with the cute imoto-san of mine, kira-ninja. He got a first hand in knowing how she really is. He said his phone was dead, and that he was on his way to class. Then a tryke stopped, I wans't minding it coz, I'm not expecting someone. Then he called. It felt like heaven went down infront of me and the angels lined up infront. Hehe. Then there was another bonus. HE BOUGHT ME, MY VERY OWN USB DRIVE!!!!!
I also finished downloading the remaining Angel Sanctuary. and I started with a new project CLOVER.
He finished Sailormoon, and completed downloading the available Tsubasa chapters.
By the way, I did my first admin-job. Accepted 2 pending reviews.
Today is so wonderful.

Thanks Hon! I love you very very much.

July 7, 2005

2005-07-06T11:48:00.000-07:00

YAIKS! I forgot to watch CSI. O well.

July 4: He went here. He left around 8. Had a great time with him. Fell asleep while waiting for brother to arrive. The inconsiderate, texted around midnight saying he's not coming home. I got up around 12:30 Am the next day.

July 5: Can't go back to sleep anymore. So I surfed the net. This is when I met kira-ninja-chan. Had a real great chat with her. She is a Japanese who migrated to Canada. We talked about CLAMP and then past lives. Hehe. Hon and I went to Big R Metro East.

July 6: Surfed the net again in the wee hours. We met at Sta. Lucia this time. I know I DL-ed the Mixx 1-1 but it wasn't saved in my desktop. Sigh. 1 hour of dl-ing gone to waste.

July 7: Brother texted he's not coming home at around 11. Hah! i DL-ed Mixx 1-3 and now it's lost again. Sigh an hour of dl lost again.

I love you Hon!

Jul 4, 2005

2005-07-03T15:16:00.000-07:00

July 1, we went separate ways from Katipunan. We don't have much money left and instead of him withdrawing money, I gave him the hundred bucks that I have. and he gave me a few change so that I can get home.

With that I didn't went to Batangas for my mom.

Jul 2, Dad and I picked up my Mom in Edsa Central, brought my doggie along. Dad was playing with the brakes and Chase kept stumbling forwards. Chase looks so proud walking around Edsa Central, crossing the street, just because he was walking along Dad.
Afternoon, I went to Katipunan. Took tricycle to MErcury. Bought 2 kilos of rice and a piece of onion. then went to Rustan's bought, chicken wings.
I was cooking when he arrived. he was early. I was really happy when he hugged me hard.

An sarap, yakapin ng mahigpit. Hehe. I dunno. An sarap talaga ng pakiramdam.

Jul 3, I went home. Back to reality. Tito Ji was there! He forgot the cellphone though. Ninang came! With Beng and Bong, and the cutey Liaa. Gave her choco milk. Finished downloading the torrent devil devil. YEY!!! Finally found this one! I really wished Hon-Hon still decided to visit me here, eventhough we agreed, there's no need to.

I love you Hon!

July 1, 2005

2005-07-01T09:43:00.000-07:00

Hiyaaaa! Didn't realize that it's been soooo long since I updated my blog. Sigh.

June 25: I left the house to surprise him. but in turn I was the one with the big stupid hat. sigh. Did the grocery for him. bought 3 burger curls. laundry detergent. onion. tomato and ISAW. thinking i could meet him in UP. Sigh. Got my mom's book. Grilled Queen for dinner.

June 26: I went home, with 'tampo'. i left the book so that my alibi would be valid. we stayed here at home. parents went with my brother to visit his girlfriend's dad in Lung Center.

June 27: he went here after the meeting in the office. Brother asked for 100. Sigh. Talagang makapal ang muka. Hindi na nga binigyan ng pera, hindi talaga makahalata. Anyway. kesa naman nakikita ko pa siya.

June 28: Pa went home. I left. went to Big R MetroEast. Meet up with Hon-HOn. Stayed in the apt. Nothing much.

June 29: I went home. Stayed up until 2 am, waiting for inconsiderate brother, he didn't went home.

June 30: went to buendia. for interview with Marvie's marketing director. Sigh. Call center na naman? went to cubao bought a few stuff toys. smallest neko bus. model kit for 35. another small bombam! Had another major fight and it started with their basketball game. they lost. I hate competition.

July 1: were okay na. but what happened still haunts me. "my choice"

but when i fell asleep on the monoblock chair, he tried to ask me to sleep in the room. when i didn't want to, i told him it's not that easy. he promised he wouldn't sleep next to me. but i asked him to. and i started crying and he placed a hand on my shoulder. we started crying, maybe because we knew it is over.

his hand was dripping with blood.

i don't want to go through it again. the fight and the part where in i see the same thing happening again with the previous no-good bf that i left.

I love you Hon-hon.

June 24, 2005

2005-06-23T23:58:00.000-07:00

Just got back from SM Megamall. I dropped my Hon to Edsa. I bought 3 books today.
2 Mary Higgins Clark and 1 John Saul. All for 120. Happy.

The Cradle Will Fall -Mary Higgins Clark [the first book I've read of MHC]
Stillwatch -Mary Higgins Clark
The God Project -John Saul

I miss my Hon-hon.

June 24, 2005

2005-06-23T09:47:00.000-07:00

I missed a few days updating my blog.

22: I'm supposed to go to UP to meet a "married" couple to help them fix their "marriage". sigh. only to get pissed at them and at the man i love. my scoliosis is starting to hurt like hell again.

23: Hon's here! We bought lunch at Chibugan and bought Chase with us. Hon's here me still.

24: My brother is still not yet back. I can't even begin to imagine how painful it is for his girlfriend right now. they have no choice but to just wait for her father to expire, coz they do not have enough money to sustain the medicine her father had to go through without sacrificing their own family.

sigh.sigh.

June 21, 2005

2005-06-20T14:37:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday Me and Hon Hon went to restock on our DVD collections. We bought a lot of concerts 3 for my parents. I'm happy we bought the Mc Gyver complete First series. I wrote the whole list in my other blog. kokoronoko. We even bought something for the brother I hate.

20: Hon, went here. I had a loong chat with Buddy, and an even LOOOOONGER chat with a friend's hubby.
Hon went here, bought me beach house barbeque...YUM YUM.
Even the brother I hate is talking to him. sigh.

21: I must go to UP to have my mom's borrowed book photo copied. Argh! I wanna say 'xerox', but that is not correct.... photocopies, photocopied, photocopy seems longer and harder to pronounce....

June 19, 2005

2005-06-18T08:52:00.000-07:00

I hate hate my brother! Really. I hate hearing him cough, clear his throat. I hate seeing him.

I finally screamed at him today. He was asking me to point to where I can see the sewing box, yet he's not looking at me point and he has the right to get mad because he can't see it.

I was planning to ran away from home and yet I'm back here, where I should be with people who respects me.

I was with Liz to Makati Cinema Square. I was about to buy the Newtype magazine for 115 but it doesn't have the posters and some other stuffs with it anymore. liz bought a lot. Rose with her, her father and uncle until Poveda. had a great time away from home. I hate this place.

Tapos, she would call you to eat dinner and she would demand for you to eat. Not even noticing I was already whincing coz of a headache. Umuwi pa ako for these? Tapos just because I'm not eating they didn't feed my dog!!!

I hate this place. One day, I'll get away and bring my dog with me!!!

June 17, 2005

2005-06-17T07:50:00.000-07:00

FINALLY I CAN USE THE PC!!!!
Its been a while... The monitor went nuts na. so I can't use the pc coz the monitor went blank.

June 12: Went to Galleria with my parents to hear mass. We met my baby brother there and his wife. We roamed around a bit, Mam bought me the knitting needle and I bought the modeler's knife. a 13 pcs knife for only one hundred pesos. LUCKY!
Then my irritating brother did his inconsiderate thing agen. Then the monitor went blank.

June 13: He went back to Manila with his parents, brothers and nephew. He became inconsiderate again. We had a major fight... again.

June 14: Went to his apartment. If he's not going to make some time for me, or to even fix the mess he's made, I will. Almost walked out of his life.
Things were settled tonight.
Then he went to class and I went home.

June 15: We canvassed for monitor in HMR. ARGH heat!

June 16: Met Liz. We ate at Yellow Cab. We went to Gilmore, then Cubao then apartment.

June 17: We bought this nice monitor. Hinatid ko siya sa Galle, i lost my Jacky Chan fan...

WILL I EVER GET MARRYIED?

June 11, 2005

2005-06-11T09:27:00.000-07:00

i had a great time with my parents today, only to be ruined by my extremely inconsiderate brother in the evening. he knew how hard it is to use the pc when my parents are here. so the only time i can use the pc is when my parents retire for the night, and what do i get. he needs to use the phone for tsismis and an on the side woman.
i politely asked if he's expecting a call, he said yes... and what? he waited for about half an hour before he calls that woman. to talk nonesense, like what they talk about in the morning. while here i am waiting, trying not to fall asleep waiting, when they can do it tomorrow. i hate him.
if it warent for my dog and parents, i don't wanna go home anymore.
about the time with my mom, we went to megamall for her raffle and then we stralled aroiund till we saw the megatrade hall. we bought a lot of stuffs.

june 10, 2005

2005-06-10T06:59:00.000-07:00

june 8: Hon enrolled on his graduate school. i was crying that night, for reasons i do not know, i miss my mom terribly. i guess, i'm still a baby. Hon was so loving that he patiently listened to everything i need to say.

june 9: we went out for ISAW!!! We spring cleaned the apartment. Met Sr. Ed. Bought stuffs at the coop while he wait for our order and chat with Sr. Ed. Nice man. Cranky!

june 10: i went home and he went to Pampanga coz he has class tomorrow at UP Clark. I miss him so much already. we met my parents at galleria. damn taxi.

June 10, 2005

2005-06-10T00:17:00.000-07:00

it's my ninong's birthday!!!

just got back from job hunting.

spring cleaned the apartment! miss hon-hon already.

i love you very much hon-hon!

June 7, 2005

2005-06-07T07:37:00.000-07:00

Gyahh! I didn't realized that it's been four days since I updated this blog. hehe.

I finished Da Vinci Code last Jun 5. Rica was right, Angels and Demon are better, action wise that is.

Jun 4: Stay with my friend's house. Met Joy, she got the MAria Tachibana wall clock. We were at UP and we got the speks for the UP Church's breakdown of expences and other requirements to get married. Looks like the vote is in UP church, besides it beein gaccesible to almost all the people we need to invite.

Jun 5: I got home. Hon-hon bought me a BIG NEKO BUS!!! and a TOTORO BAG!!!! Yey!!! So happy.

Jun 6: Mom and I was supposed to go to Cubao but she got lazy. The weather is really giving out a sleepy spell. MEt up with my Hon Hon! Sakit ball sa ankle ko!!! We watched disk 6 and 2 episodes of CSI fourth season.

Jun 7: My mom and I went to Recto to look for her book. NADA!!! Did find a stall that sells second hand Dan Brown book for 250!!! Compared to 359 in National. The book looks good as new. I miss my Honhon today. His allowance for enrollment still didn't arrive, his salary from the both works he juggles still didn't arrive.

Still wishing that the two jobs I am eyeing will be mine. Well, at least one of them.

i love you Hon-Hon.

June 3, 2005

2005-06-02T14:41:00.000-07:00

It's my friend's birthday today. Happy Birthday Rica!

Just got back from my friend's apartment.
Hon and I had a fight last May 31. But all's settled the next day.

I have my hands on Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code!!! But I so far I love Angels & Demons, because it's the only book of Dan Brown that I've read, yet.

My Hon is offering to buy us the whole set of Dan Brown's books.

I was supposed to go to Cubao yesterday, but got lazy. I wanna buy some more stuff toys and maybe buy that nice curtain I've been eyeing.

I also need to re stock on our DVD collections.

Last June 1, I had a job interview in UP. Jan's former classmate was one of the interviewees. I wish I did great. I really want to work na.

I also want to re stock on my anime sell-a-bles.

On Dan Brown's Angels & Demons

2005-05-31T09:31:00.000-07:00

What are we living on? Why are we here? Why do we think?
After reading the book, it makes me wonder. My faith is faltering, not because of a tragedy but because of a series of questions.
The book gave me more proof that the church are teaching works and ways of men and not of God, atleast not anymore The book made me think, there are a lot of things that you want to believe.
At first you will believe in science and all its wonders, and then somewhere before the ending, wou would be able to believe in the miracles of God... only to have a twist a few pages after.

The book is great.
My faith? God gave us a brain to think, or humans have the ability to think and sometimes human becomes lazy trying to understand things , thus creating the almighty God.

Dan Brown really is a great author!

May 31, 2005

2005-05-30T09:18:00.000-07:00

One of the institution I applied for called yesterday afternoon. I am excited! Really! But I am not out of the woods yet. I have an interview on Wednesday afternoon. I really do hope I get this one. I want to finally be able to help my parents with the bills.

I love you Hon-Hon!

May 30 again

2005-05-29T21:47:00.000-07:00

Sigh! Nothing to do. The weather's so damn hot.
The trip with Buddy was postponed. sigh.
Why does it have to be so damn hot.

I need to restock on my dvd collections.

I need to find a job!

I love you very much, Hon-hon!

May 30, 2005

2005-05-29T09:02:00.000-07:00

Met Richmond yesterday. He bought the stuffs. He returned my cds and Jan's Wrestling book. He gave us t-shirts. I gave him the stuff I got for him. later I'm supposed to meet up with Buds to get some stuff toys. He's persistent kasi.

My Hon-Hon would start with his new job today. O when can I? He's not able to make another step away from the old job.

I love you Hon-HOn!

May 29, 2005

2005-05-28T09:28:00.000-07:00

I'm almost set for the bazaar. July 15 - 17. I'm so excited.

I'm having my lowest low today. Actually, it started since May 15, I dunno I find it hard believing him. Minsan, I even think that he's hiding something.

I still love him. I'm so glad that he's patient enough to forgive me.

I'll get through this Hon. Please be patient. I love you very much.

May 28, 2005

2005-05-27T20:58:00.000-07:00

Just got back from my friend's house.

26 - Hon and I went to restock on some stuffs. Got a lot of cd's and the mirror of hello project. Got coins for Richmond.

27 - went back with Hon and Liz. We're supposed to watch Madagascar today, but opted to eat isaw!!!

28 - I'm home. I'm supposed to go to Cubao with Buddy but didn't have any money left in me.

This damned life

2005-05-25T13:17:00.000-07:00

This time, my dog wanted out at 3:45AM!

I was so damn pissed at yesterday! That's also why I knew I wouldn't get the job. Plus , don't they get or hire someone from their own backyard? They are all so high and mighty and i don't think someone like me, a nobody would be allowed in. Damn this life.

I do not believe his excuse. Too many loop holes. Why won't he just say the truth if there's something or someone else? Damn this life.

Two, my speaker is not making any sound. Damn this life.

Logging in the internet was a big problem. Damn this life.

Maybe, dying and getting reincarnated would change the pace of this damned life.

May 25, 2005

2005-05-24T16:51:00.000-07:00

I'm so sleepy. My dog wanted to go out at 4:45AM and he wouldn't stop until you give in. At first he would just whine beside my ear. Then he would jump on the bed. then he would start barking at you, sitting on your head... yes, sitting on your head. It's not enough he would let you breathe his monster breath.

Wednesday? What do I do? Might head over to meet him.

Oh and yesterday, we we're like kids enjoying a new toy... in our case. Chikka. Oh what fun!

I love you Hon-hon!

May 24, 2005

2005-05-23T17:21:00.000-07:00

Hiyaaaa! It's been four days since I last log in.

20- Me, Rica and Jacky went to visit Buddy. Gave him the KOR movies.
Me, Rica and Jacky went to Megamall to meet with my Hon-hon. He's coming back from the workshop at IRRI

21- My Hon-Hon and I went to buy some 'bentables' at the upcoming bazaar. Saw this cute puppy.

22- I went home.

23- Went to Buddy's place accompanied him to Congressional to encash his check. Went to restock!
24- I went home. I think I've affiliated myself in the apartment. i don't feel like it's a sanctuary of sort or a getaway... but a home.

May 20, 2005

2005-05-19T09:00:00.000-07:00

OOPS MAJOR BLUNDER!!! I was typing in the wrong date.

Had a girly talk with Rica today and we'll go to Buds house tomorrow, to deliver his much awaited dvds!

Had a little spat with my Hon. It's really disappointing and down grading whenever he keep on putting me down. I was only asking how his workshop is doing. He need not fill me in with every detail about it, and I am not a computer scientist to understand anyway. But he just kept quiet. As if asking, 'you'd never understand, so why should I bother'

It's painful. My life, that is. It's very pitiful. there are so many things that you wished you never did. But all I can do now is suffer the consequences.

Maybe he deserves someone from his group. His intellectual bracket. I thought he said he understand... I guess I was wrong.

Why is that they can leave whenever they want and then leave you to wait for them. And here I am can't move because he could call any minute now, which probably he wont.

Sigh life...

May 26, 2005

2005-05-18T08:43:00.000-07:00

Met up with Liz yesterday for the trade. We ate at Bon Appetit. The pizza was really delicious! She recomended Yellow Cab and That Old Spaghetti House.

Drop by the apt, took the stuff toys to clean them back home.
Me and my parents went buying groceries in Big R Junction.
My baby brother drop by yesterday and borrowed some dvds.

Job hunting is getting really very depressing. Most of the job offers are eReps. Sigh. Sigh and more sigh. When can I get lucky? I miss PeopleSupport.

Chinny called last night, she sprained her ankle. She said she hopes to be up by Thursday, and I told her tomorrow's Thursday. She thought yesterday was Tuesday.

I am a day away in being with my future hubby!!!

I miss my hubby!

May 25, 2005

2005-05-17T13:58:00.000-07:00

I'm going to meet up with Liz again today. We're gonna trade. Ma and I went malling yesterday, probably to uplift my spirits. Glad I did. An saya, but I guess I keep forgeting that my Mom can't walk that far. Were supposed to go to the Butterfly farm but, I guess nagkatamaran na lang dumaretso na lang kami sa Megamall. E-loaded Hon-hon.

I still miss my Hon-Hon, we're 2 to 3 days away.

May 24, 2005 again

2005-05-16T10:02:00.000-07:00

I just wanna share this funny thing, when Liz and I went shopping.

There is this stall that sells pirated DVDs, they have some DVDs for sale.
The sign says:
"Bargain DVDs! Without Level and Case"

I guess what it really mean is:
"Bargain DVDs! Without Label and Case"

Haha!! And Liz brought me to this japanese kiosk, where in they prepare the sushi while you wait. KAKKOI!!!

The California Maki was really GOOOOOD!!!

I'm definitely going to bring my Hon-Hon there!!!

May 24, 2005

2005-05-16T09:44:00.000-07:00

Me and a friend went anime shopping today!
Guess what I got a NEKOBUS!!! Another addition to the totoro stuff toys that I collect. Thanks to my very wonderful and supportive hubby-to-be for making these possible.
Then my friend brought me to this place... SARAP CALIFORNIA MAKI!!!

I miss my Honey! And it's still a long way to go before we get to be together again. And it's hell again at home.

May 23, 2005

2005-05-15T09:22:00.000-07:00

yesterday, I accompanyed him to Megamall to canvass for the PS2 best offer. so far TV Games is the one with the best offer.

I miss him na. terribly. I wish some of his blessing s would see me.

Love you Hon, miss you as much.

May 22, 2005

2005-05-14T15:56:00.000-07:00

I haven't been updating my blog coz I'm busy preparing for the rental shop I'm planning to open. So far the for rents are the vcds. I'm still contemplating on the audio cds and dvd.

The "Anime Bazaar" or "Anime Garage Sale" is going to be sometime in June or July. Which ever. I'm planning to discard some weekly manga from 1999 to 2000. Some Chinese manga. Some toys. I am planning to put some of my personal collections on display. The venue, I do not know yet.

Love's away for a workshop in UPLB. I miss him terribly. I really wish some of his luck would come my way, so that we can actually begin saving for the wedding. I do hope the wedding will push through next year.

I love you, Hon.

May 8, 2005

2005-05-07T09:40:00.000-07:00

I'm so damn depressed. I got home, hoping to grab some time alone with my mom since it was going to be mother's day the next day. [it is midnight of may 7, when i logged on the net]
I just want some time off without having to give a very valid reason.

I want to embark on a project and all I hear are comments. i know tha place, if they want to support me... support me. If I needed advice, I would ask them.

Why can't I leave? What am I afraid of?

What irritates me the most, is that she tolerates the little brothers but when it comes to me, I am the child from hell.

maybe I am. I don't know anymore. It's like, just because I am the eldest I must take in all the mistakes of the younger ones and not to make the same mistake because they will be unutterably disappointed in you. When did they actually accepted my shortcomings?

Here I am brought up to be the model child and the others will just leave everything to you. All the chores and even the chores assaigned to them.

Where is justice?

May 6, 2005

2005-05-05T10:10:00.000-07:00

Today is okay... tried getting through the day without an electric fan. I gave in at around 1 pm. ARRRGH!!! Why does it have to be so damn hot!

I'm feeling okay now. I think. He's going to UPLB on the 9th up to the 20th. A bit sad, but not that sad. I do know he wants this job. I just wish luck would shine diffrently on me this time. Sometimes, I think its unfair 'coz the people who don't need luck keeps getting it and for those who needs a bit of luck don't get any.

Here's a question that popped in my mind while watching Encantadia, "Do people really know where they are going?"

Okay 'bye' for now, need to go search for work on jobstreet and jobmarket...

May 5, 2005

2005-05-04T09:09:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to feel depressed again. I don't know where this depression is coming from and it's really irritating.

Just talked to Chiney. Ok. Masaya.

Hon, didn't droppped by.

May 3, 2005

2005-05-03T09:31:00.000-07:00

Nothing much happened this day. I'm just gonna share some thoughts.

There are times that I feel he think lowly of me. There are times that he makes me feel like he'd rather spend the day doing somethign else of be with someone else. I know I should be grateful that he dropped by after work, but there are times that I wish he wouldn't.

I am grateful that he tries to spend sometime with me.

There are days he makes me feel really guilty of spending his money. I understand though, but I sure wish he would not spend it for me, only to make me feel guilty afterwards, because I am guilty as is.

I love him. I know I do.

There are times that he makes it harder for me to understand him.

I don't want to go through the damn process again.

May 2, 2005

2005-05-01T12:17:00.000-07:00

Argh! I'm done downloading the synopsis for my anime videos. Ang hirap makahanap ng synopsis for Ghibli stuffs.

So I'm done na in one site.

And I still can't find a damn crack code for bejeweled 2 deluxe. Masakit na arm ko so I'm calling it a day.

I'm pissed at home, lahat na lang hinanap.
Sila lang naman ang gumagamit.

April 28, 2005

2005-04-27T16:34:00.000-07:00

I dreampt about my earring yesterday, I dreampt that I found it. Only to be depressed when I wake up.

I miss my earring, funny? The feeling is so incomplete without it.
I hate this fate I'm in, it's like I'm getting nowhere. I need something new.

I wish my lovelife would advance a level.
I wish my financial life would have the work and compensation I plan to have.
I wish my worthless neighbors would dissintegrate.
I wish those who does unfavorable things to me would have the badluck of their lives.

I wish for a lot of things.

April 27, 2005

2005-04-26T19:27:00.000-07:00

I am so depressed right now. I think I'm in my 'low days' again.
I am so depressed and I wish people would understand. I'm starting to loose faith and trust with people. I lost my earring, it means a lot to me since it was with me for about 3 decades. Though, I'm still hoping that I'll find it. I plan to give it to my daughter...if I could have a daughter.... if I could even have a child.

AARGH!!!! Depression.

April 26, 2005

2005-04-25T18:59:00.000-07:00

Had a real wonderful time yesterday. I spent it with my Hon-Hon.

Updated the inventory. I'm done with 90%. I'm currently updating the dvd file. I just love doing the inventory. I guess, I trully am a collector. In doing the inventory, it gives me the pleasure of taking note of all the things I've collected through the years.

I'm lucky to have someone who not only supports you, but helps you with what makes you 'materially' happy...

I just wish I could scream louder than yesterday.... :)

I love you Hon-HOn!

April 24, 2005

2005-04-24T09:44:00.000-07:00

Happy Day!

Met my Loviduvs in Jollibee Aurora.
We bought DVDs, then went to Megamall then some grocery, then to Shangri-la to buy Mama her medicine, the to Crossings and bought the Sailormoon towel holder.

Happy shopping day!
Happy List:

GHIBLI BOX SET!!!

Thanks a lot! I love you Hon-Hon!

April 23, 2005

2005-04-22T19:16:00.000-07:00

Gyaaaahhh!!! I missed two days!!!

21
I called PS, just to follow up on my salary. Eventhough it was a week earlier. It turned out that I have to get my atm card with them pala.

22
Went to PS.
When I boarded a jeep to Junction, I realized I don't have my IDs with me, it was in the apartment. So, went down in Junction and got on an fx to Katipunan. Was supposed to pick-up my things in the apartment and head for UPD to have lunch with Jan, but he went home. They bought gift for John. We went to UPD, I boarded jeep to MRT in SC so he can claim his Dad's shoes. MRT to Ayala.
Walked from MRT station to Philam Life Tower. INIT!!! Stayed in the lobby. Mary Alix gave me my atm.
Walked back to Glorietta, to buy the new Pepsi flavors. I saw advertisement in Megamall they must have one in Glorieta...NADA.
MRT to Quezon Ave.
Quezon Ave. to UPD
UPD to KAtipunan!
Stayed in the aprtment.

23
Went home. Bong is in a hospital.

Yav yu, Hon-Hon!

April 20, 2005

2005-04-20T09:03:00.000-07:00

Am supposed to go to Boni Ave tomorrow at 0800 hours but [di ko siya feel] plus I was a bit disappointed with how the lady on the other end of the phone talked to me.

There'll be other jobs... still waiting for PeopleSupport reply.

Thanks for dropping by eventhough you're dead tired from work.

Yav Yu Hon-hon!!!

April 19, 2005

2005-04-19T10:00:00.000-07:00

I'm almost done with the Audio inventory.
I went to UP today.

I went with my baby brother with his wife to work for an interview in Lene's office. Things didn't work well. I walked to MRT. Passed by my brother's office, didn't see him. I thought of surprising Hon-Hon by dropping by his office or atleast to have lunch with him today. But Law canteen is closed. I'm tired, I'm hungry, my feet aches... I was grumpy.

But we were able to eat in Beach House.... finally. Went to the apartment after. We slept lang, brought some laundry with me. And now I'm just downloading some stuffs again.

Yav yu, Hon-hon!

thanks for putting up with me.

April 18, 2005

2005-04-17T15:25:00.000-07:00

We re-stocked on dvds and we were able to aquire 23 disks! Mostly concerts. I have csi fourth season!!! Yey!!! Thanks Hon-hon!!!

Although, please do loosen up a little.
Delicious Dem, a batchmate in PS texted and she said she resigned na rin. I miss most of the people there but not that much now. Claire texted that she received 11,000 minus the allowances and the night diff. WOW!!! Ingit!

April 16, 2005

2005-04-15T18:22:00.000-07:00

Ok, I missed another day.

Wasn't able to sleep properly last night, for the second night straight my out-of-school neighbors are blowing the ears off the whole neighborhood.

On another note, I'm happy I found my Speed Rise cd!!!!

Will meet a friend later to get my other cds!!! Yey! Will get to watch [again] SD Gundam!!! I still want to get my hand on that Golden Boy, subtitled vcd!

Yav Yu Hon-Hon!!!

April 14, 2004

2005-04-13T17:01:00.000-07:00

Yaiks! I missed a post again!

Apri l12, I left the house. Atleast to escape, even for a short time. Medyo sobra na nila inaabuse pagiging polite ko sa bahay. Don't I have the right to be respected? They don't seem to think so.

April 13, Met Buddy to go to MetroWalk... not a good move though. Saw Buds shaking like hell. I felt pity but didn't want to let him know about it. He might get offended.

We transfered venue. We bought Plastic Little and bought MP3 of GTA.

April 14. Wala pang nangyayari.

I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH HON-HON!

April 12, 2005

2005-04-11T18:31:00.000-07:00

Oops, I missed a couple of days.

April 10. Hon-hon stayed with us for an overnight. Baby Bro decided to adopt the kitten left by it's mom. Kitten's not even 5 days old. Kitty kept me and my Hon, mostly my Hon, awake until morning. Talk about passing on responsibility. When did he ba?

April 11. Went to PAWS to donate the little Kitty, there would be people more qualified to take care of the kitty, and make right decisions. But Hon was a bit teary-eyed coz most likely i-u-euthenize. they don't usually survive at that rate.

Now, wala lang. Had talk with Buddy to keep me from running away from home late night yesterday. We'll go to Metrowalk tomorrow... I'll accompany the 'old man'

April 9, 2005

2005-04-09T09:37:00.000-07:00

Went to UP Diliman after a long time.

Had a little misunderstanding.
Went to apartment.
Ate sisig rice.
The couple are in Cainta again... sigh...wish they'd learn.

We have misunderstandings, fights every now and then but at the end of the day, it's still the two of us who's together.

I love you very much, Hon!

Sabi ni Richmond, mga 7thou lang pala pagpunta ng HK o Singapore.

April 8, 2005

2005-04-09T09:32:00.000-07:00

We went to Metrowalk. He heard news that some of the stalls in Virramall transfered there. OH yeah, they transfered there alright. Imagine I even saw the 'street signs' in Virramall there, well it wasn't put up yet.

We bought 5 dvds.
once a thief
-- and kumar
the cat returns with tonari no totoro
tokyo godfathers
memories

happy.

April 7, 2005

2005-04-07T07:49:00.000-07:00

I almost didn't make it to Ayala today.

Woke up at 4, as expected. What I don't get is how I got back to sleep. I woke up at 5:45. I ran, literally to the fx terminal. Luckily, I boarded it with a couple, and it turned out that there are only 3 vacancies left. LUCKY!

Anyway, I got to Ayala at 6:15. Frankie greeted me, and I saw the group. Adrian, JR, JA, Chito and Sonic. They're all there in front of the Robinson's Summit Bldg. I asked about Lovelyn and Martina, they said they're still up stairs, but might use the back door to get to Philam. I waited at the 37th floor. Ang ganda dun. Talked to Marti and Lovelyn about another position,

Then I decided to wait for Gretch or Dang on the 14th floor. Ang alam ko kasi 8 ang pasok nila. But the next guard said they usually come in late. So I decided to talk to Allan, just incase there could be another position for me in PS, minus the graveyard. Then I saw JA, Claire and Anna. We stayed at the pantry on the 12th floor while waiting for the HR people.

We went up again for HR. Left the vicinity at around 10. With JA until Boni. Learned a few things about him and his wife, who has a very cute name, Miracle.

Bougth new text notebook, 1 rim of bondpaper. Did the grocery in Bg R Junction. Cooked caldereta.

One thing I know I don't regret, when I listened to them talk about the calls they had... I'm not envious. It's a start sana they could find a position for me.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed

April 6, 2005

2005-04-06T06:21:00.000-07:00

Went to SM Megamall today. Jan and I went to Shakey's, celebration coz he got his March salary. We ordered the usual stuff. Pepperoni crunch thin crust, mojos and dip garlic mayo, and bottomless rootbeer.

He bought laptop bag, well it's a backpack with a portion for laptop. He bought me the water pastel. Still trying to get use to it. Hehe. Then he bought earphones for his flash disk.

And when we got home we watched 'Reign of Fire' on dvd. I'm starting to get some ideas for the next story.

Tomorrow, talagang talaga na. I'm going to go to PeopleSupport to have my clearance signed. I already texted Luscious Lovable Lovelyn. And tomorrow he's going to UPLB with Sr. Pros.

ANIME AGAIN

2005-04-05T15:55:00.000-07:00

On another note, I'm back with my anime again. I might open another blog to post in the titles I have and things I acquire along the way. I love doing this, taking inventory. I'm back to what I love doing, now to make some money.

Yeah. I must clear my mind and start that little project. Maybe I shoulf start painting again, or composing, or writting.

Yup! Yup! Will do that!

YOSH!!! IKIMASHIYO!!! IKE!!!

The Emptiness

2005-04-05T15:45:00.000-07:00

About 4 days ago, I left a wonderful environment called PeopleSupport, and until now I still feel depressed by doing so. There are times that I desperately hang on to the memory of the people I worked with for almost 2 weeks.

When I left, at first I thought of catching up on sleep and meals that I missed. Up to this date I'm still trying. I still can't eat. Maybe I have Bulimia or something. I even thought of going back, but I know I'll just be faecd with the same problem. If only they have a position that wouldn't require graveyeard shifts.

I miss the company and most of the people that made me feel welcome and for those who made me feel like a human being.

Thank you

Employment

2005-04-04T05:09:00.000-07:00

Just about a month ago, I just signed my employment contract. and 3 weeks ago I had my first day work. and guess what, I resigned 2 weeks later. Funny? Haha, I'm still thinking why I did. The saying 'the mind is willing but the body is weak' gave new meaning to me.

I miss most of my workmates.

But I guess, there's no use sulking over the past. Time to move on. Time to pack my bag and go job hunting again. It's hunting season again...

Who knows, we'll never know what's in store for us.

We'll never get to where we want to go, until we make the first step.

AHA! My first blog!!!

2005-04-04T04:58:00.000-07:00

Hwehehe! After bugging my loviduvs, I'm actually writting my first entry for my very own blog spot. Hwaha. And now that I have one... what do I write....