Long time no see

Its been a long time since I last posted an entry in this one...
A lot has happened.

October: Nothing much...
November: Assumption Fair! Total disaster!
December: School of the Holy Spirit Fair! Another disaster in terms of monitary gains.

I've celebrated my 32nd birthday. Nothing much the greeters are not even half of my age.
Kuya Reggie, his wife, Tita Jean and her husband are here.
Went to Camarin to Ninongs house to visit them on the 6th.
No Tito Boy and Tito teddy.

Kulang din.

They met Jan already.

Sept 24, 2005

Sept 21... Wednesday... did nothing muchm but i did the grocery and bought some stuffs to be used tomorrow.

Sept 22... Hon's birthday. His 22nd birthday, his parents can no longer do something to stop the wedding.... we cooked my tuna spagetti
Elson came...
Miki wasn't allowed coz it was also his elder sister's birthday.
Liz forgot about the invitation, and was only concerned about meeting Papa Bernz
We went to Cubao, showed Elson the stuff toys!!!!

Sept 23... THE INVASION OF THE ALIEN WIRE IN THE CR!!!!! i asked them to fix it today!!! Funny how calm I was.... normally I would have blown their heads off to fix it ASAP!!!!

Sept 24... PS2... Some posters... a MGS tshirt... PS2 cap... and a lot of other stuffs.
... internet in worldnet...

tranquility

sometimes, looking at my dog sleeping gives an unexplainable peace in my mind, eventhough he's sleeping on my bed... and lying down on itwould wake him up, i still prefer to let him have my bed for as long as his little heart's content.
he uses my pillow, blanket and whatever is on my bed. i just didnt have the heart of disturbing his sleep. sometimes, i wish for my life to be that simple.

on another note, there are some people who take forgranted the things you're trying to have. they take forgranted the thought they are married... if only i could get married.
sometimes i think people do not take my dreams forgranted, or they dont take me seriously. sigh. these are the times that i hated having some of my dreams depend on other people.

Sept 20, 2005 part 3

9/01... I was so damned angry the past few days specially last 8/30... we almost didn't make it here... this is our 54th monthsary.
... we went to cubao!

9/02...he went to UPLB... IRRI to be exact. For his presentation. Then he went to Pampanga....

9/03...Jet gave the 6210. Ate at 5pm. breakfast, lunch and dinner. Nakausap ko yung dati kong yaya. hehehe.

9/04... Jet brought parents to the airport, he gropped Jan at his apartment. we went to Paco. we picked him up at Gilmore LRT2 station. Luneta. Paco again. Gilmore for the 20pcs cdr. We picked him up at Gilmore station.... Me and Parents and Jan.

9/05...Noel went with parents to Batangas... Jan didn't went to work today and accompanied me home. Funny how my dog shows jealousy, even to the person he considers his 'dad'.

9/06... My Mom's birthday! 'Noel went home...' Read about Isabel... Then RAiner, Isa's husband called. These things doesn't happen to us normal people, right? We're from Assumption!!!!

9/07... Noel went home... as in went home here. We left for megamall.

9/08...Didn't went to Isa's last day. I can't. I want so much to believe this is a sick joke. I want to remember her like she was... The puppy arrived today!

9/09... apt

9/10... we went to Clark.... UPEPP... Saw Jet!!! Stayed in the Deputy Director's Office!!! Duty Free!!! Puppies!!! Chick and Ribs!!! I went home, wasn't supposed to yet but i did. pissed.

9/11...went to Katipunan. and met up with his family, minus Bang who's still in japan. Serye, QC circle.

9/12... we went to Megamall. then we went to Galle. We saw the SMART WiFi. We inquired and since we're there we decided to have our phones activated with gprs and mms.

9/13... i had my dog eating on top of the washing machine so the pup wouldn't disturb him or grab his meal. I'm starting to hate this pup.

9/14... sis-in-law ym-ed her sentiments about my brother. asked jan about 'pagsasawa' when we get married. I'm starting to have sentiments about marriage.

9/15... went to apt

9/16... we met PAPA BERNZ!!!!! Happy!!!!! Ultraman Tiga!!! Chibi Maruko-chan no coin bank. Starting to plan my 'plan' for his birthday!!!

9/17...watched azumanga daioh! nice! i went to Batangas to accompany Mama. watched T3 to stay awake. i was already in Batangas when I was told that we were not going home tomorrow. T.T

9/18... did nothing but bum around in the apartment. we waren't able to go to mass... Mom and I slept almost the whole day. i miss my Hon-Hon!

9/19... YEY! saw my hon-hon! did grocery in Uniwide.... I love my Hon-Hon!!!

Sept 20, 2005 part 2

8/16... balakubs
8/17...he had the apartment checked. the ceiling and the bowl. Ate Cristy called. The Patlabor 'Game and Watch' seemed to be busted, coz he bought new batts for it, and it's still not working.
8/18...we met Steph in UP today. Then Tere... fun. We had a wild laugh. Saya!
8/19...i was using the other sim. I think we bought the smart e-load sim last 8/13. He went home.
8/20...
8/21...the kidnapping of my babbies.... our stuff toys... the bunny, kirby, tigger, gray kitty and gege, pink gangster. aro was almost kidnapped but Jan rescued him. Some stuff were almost kidnapped by his brother. they brought Bang to the airport.
8/22...I went with my parents to Batangas to have my face examined by the derma. why cant my brother's atleast survive without me. sigh. lagi na lang kasi nakaasa sa akin e.
8/23...Jan went to PUP to help my Mom's students.
8/24...
8/25... we went to congressional
8/26...i sent the 'ransom'... the doggie pillow set...
8/27...Jan's Dad's Birthday! Kuya Reggie's Birthday! Karlo Nalam's Birthday! He was only able to rescue Gege, pink gangster and the bunny
8/28...he bought yellow cab pizza for cainta. told liz about the momusu vhs tape.
8/29...we went to world net. internet with liz. then to congressional. Jan finally met Liz's dad.
8/30...presentation of his IRRI work in MATH. Miki gave us the tsubasa cd. 'yun lang daw pinunta nya sa UP'
8/31...he had an xm. he was supposed to go with Allan [vaness] with another crs guy for Peria's este... Feria's farewell party.

Sept 20, 2005 part 1

Yipes! I forgot to update my blog again!!!! Shimatta ne!!!
I'll do my best to remember everything that happened!!! Here goes!

Aug 11... yesterday I asked my hon-hon to install ym so we could chat. too bad somebody abused the thought that me, as a friend would do everything to make a friend happy. this friend told me that my hon already agreed in giving her the mug that I gave him, and said that he told me to say 'yes' and not to disagree. In the end, it ended with me and my hon fighting.

Aug 11... he came to Cainta. We're ok now. I went out with him to the apartment.

Aug 12... he went home. felt a bit jealous.

Aug 13... now the jealousy caught up with me. it's about the "conservative" issue. Then I was asking about the 'conservative' girl and he answered about another girl who had the same name but a different issue with another girlfriend.
...now more than ever, i want to destroy that bitch that he calls 'conservative' the anger in me is just so great now. considering I am writting this more than a month after. I dont think there is nothing he could do anymore to cure this anger.
... if you are reading this now, i still can't find it in my heart to forgive you for describing that bitch as 'conservative' and to top it all, you kept saying it.

Ninong, Lee and his girlfriend was here. I'm totally pissed with my brother and his wife.

Aug 14...we went to Megamall to buy my Dad a gift for his birthday. A rechargable battery for the Gameboy advance. we were locked out when we got home. We decided to wait, but it turned out that my parents went to the grocery...

Aug 15... we met up at NEC. He was supposed to get the loooooong awaited check from IRRI via UP... dut didnt

Aug 16... my dad's birthday. he got the check and deposited it to PNB.

Aug 11, 2005

Sigh!

It's really depressing.
Why is everybody given a pardon everytime they did something wrong? Everyone or everybody but me.
then to make matters worse, here is someone who is so damn insensitive to what you're going through. thinking everything will be okay if I have money... no matter how I get it.
then you are left alone.
no food...
no water...

oh i was given some spending money but how the hell do i go out with this condition?

then just last night all the people who did something wrong to me and all they did were flashing inside my mind, like a slide show.

and then it came to me, i will survive and one day all you will know how badly you treated me. noone even dared talking to me. atleast i have my dog.

my dog, my companion and my friend.

they're all coming today... but i don't feel like seeing people today. they hurt you, and expect you to do everything they could think of.

i hate my life.
i hate having to wake up for yet another day, to get hurt...
i wake up coz the people around me, doesn't see the pain they're causing.
i wake up coz the people around me expect i will.
coz the people around me expect me to be dependable.
they think i will do everything for their convenience.

what if one day... i'm just gone?
free from the obligations
free from the pain
free from all these?

will it be an inconvenience because i simply didn't do what they expect me to?

by the end of the day, it all boils down to me and my dog.

Aug 1, 2005

Sigh. Sigh. and still more sigh.

What do you do if you saw someone you know walking, hands laced around somebody you don't know in a mall? Nothing right? Or maybe bug someone you know when you meet him or her the next time. But what if, you saw someone you know who was walking hands laced around someone you don't know who is definitely not the girlfriend or boyfriend of that someone you know.

I just did.

And now this someone I know is in real big trouble because of his alibi this night did not match his alibi about 12 hours ago. Because this someone I know made two conflicting alibis in just one day. Now I am torn between telling the right people about this someone I know with someone I didn't know.

Why can't they just be faithfull to one?

July 18, 2005

I am so depressed tonight, oops actually its early morning.

Why am I always afraid of what they can do to me? Are they afraid of me? Are they even knowlegable in what I feel? Does he even enjoy the things he's doing? Does he really doesn't care of what will happen to me? Am I really doomed to be the martyr in this house?

He wants me to hold loggin in the net coz he'l use the phone and what? He lies down in bed, while I fight sleep so that I can wait till he's finished? Which he hasn't started yet? then if you'll ask him to speed up, he'll get angry. And embaras me to all the people who knows me. Why can't I just do what he does?
I can't sleep coz, if I don't answer the phone he'll say I'm useless and other things he can think off. Even if I don't, I'll still be the first one to get waken up by the phone since it is beside me.

I hate my brother. I hate my brothers. They all make my life miserable. They all put me in a corner where I cannot fight back. Why? Why can't I fight back? What 'ace card' do they have that I can't stand up for my right, for my position as the first born?

Someday, maybe I will. Somday maybe I can. Until that day, I do hope that I am still able.

July 14, 2005

WAS IT THAT LONG!!!!

Oki oki! I need to remember....

July 7: stayed there.
July 8: he went back home, I have his students' 'sorry' resume.
July 9: went out with Dad. Dad bropped me at Brookeside. He was early. Nothing much.
Harry lost to a squeeky looking geek. >(
July 10: We went to Cainta together.
July 11: We did the laundry together here at home. To save up a little in laundry expenses.
July 12: We didn't see each other as part of the scheme,to save.
He finished RG Veda today, and he started with Sailormoon.
July 13: I wanna join the rally in Ayala. I want to see "Cheese" in person!!! He surprised me today. He chatted with the cute imoto-san of mine, kira-ninja. He got a first hand in knowing how she really is. He said his phone was dead, and that he was on his way to class. Then a tryke stopped, I wans't minding it coz, I'm not expecting someone. Then he called. It felt like heaven went down infront of me and the angels lined up infront. Hehe. Then there was another bonus. HE BOUGHT ME, MY VERY OWN USB DRIVE!!!!!
I also finished downloading the remaining Angel Sanctuary. and I started with a new project CLOVER.
He finished Sailormoon, and completed downloading the available Tsubasa chapters.
By the way, I did my first admin-job. Accepted 2 pending reviews.
Today is so wonderful.

Thanks Hon! I love you very very much.